Looking at Love

Looking at Love

"I'm Glad There Is You" is a song written by Jimmy Dorsey and Paul Madeira

In this world of ordinary people...
Extraordinary people,
I'm glad there is you.

In this world of overrated pleasures
And underrated treasures,
I'm glad there is you.

I live to love,
I love to live with you beside me.
This role, so new
I'll muddle through with you to guide me.
 

In this world where many, many play at love
And hardly any stay in love,
I'm glad there is you.
More than ever, I'm glad there is you.

Blog content must necessarily be easy to assimilate. It's not like settling down to read a book. The reader wants to be informed or entertained on their visit but not chained to a clock...so let's get to the point. Let's look at love!

Love is not about sex. Love is not about having a swinging lifestyle. It's not about taking advantage of someone. It's not about selfishness or ego. Its not about material things. It's not even about physical attraction per se.  

Why don't marriages last the way they used to? Our world has changed significantly in the last 50 years. There are a number of societal reasons why, and they should be examined - but they are not the subject of this narrative. We know of the mistakes that are made in marriages but do we know why? I think it's because we don't really understand love.

A story was published in an English newspaper recently about a couple who celebrated 77 years of wedded bliss. Most weeks, wherever you may live, there are announcements of fifty and sixty year anniversaries. Why does it work for some and not for others? Our faster lifestyle, and advanced technology engage us in a myriad of pursuits and are partly to blame. Easier to obtain divorces contribute to the lack of staying power. Not worth the effort to resolve the irritations which occur in any partnership. The bloom is off the rose is descriptive of real life as in the flower world. It's just as true in relationships. Making life a daily routine of survival and obligation will result in a staleness of existence that will suck the energy and dampen the spirit of just about anyone.

Why do we make war rather than love? At every level of human "being" war is more prevalent than love. In the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the car, in families, in politics, in sports, in religion, in commerce, in industry and in international relations. Let's concern ourselves with love in a personal way which may be very revealing.

Our species mate for procreation, otherwise we would no longer exist. We attract each by looks, smells, and behavior - and we make conscious efforts in those regards. So, we're working at it - we want it badly enough to work at it. We connect, and we make a commitment to love each other. We won't examine marriage, or any of the  seemingly limitless new forms of partnership specifically...we just need to know about two people in love and committed to each other.

The secret to lasting love is total commitment. Easy to say, but not easy to do. Why not?

Love does not get mad. Love does not control. Love is not sour. Love is not selfish. Love does not take sides unfairly. Love does not cheat, or lie, or be cruel. How can it, and still be love? Love is gentleness, kindness, devotion, sincerity and sacrifice...wholly and forever. Not just sometimes this week, but every free moment of your life. Your spouse should occupy your mind with the wonder of how lovely it is to be loved and adored and supported. You should always be cognizant of the comfort and warmth of your relationship. Nothing you can or ever will do is consciously meant to hurt your partner. Yes, there will be bumps in life's road but they will be quickly smoothed because they are not deliberate - and as we age, life becomes even more companionable.

We have children and then we often diminish the role of the father and give preference to the children. Was the father essentially the necessary sperm donor and now relegated to a different role? Does the father now spend more time with his buddies and perhaps his golf, while mother can take care of the household duties? The partnership built on love is already crumbling. It will never be the same again. Oh, we carry on, accepting whatever comes our way under these new conditions, thinking this is what life is all about. Make no mistake about this...true, lasting love does not take a holiday, and it can't be relegated to the back of ones mind. If your life becomes tedious, boring, routine and with irritation and bickering seemingly always present...you never really loved each other. You exist in a relationship, nothing more.

While we can't abrogate our obligations and responsibilities in life; love for each other is more important than anything else and it makes everything else easier to handle - it makes all aspects of life much more amenable than it would otherwise be. Your life partner is your reason for happiness and contentment no matter what besets you. The comfort and support can always be relied on. Adversity, if it rears its ugly head, is a lot less onerous than it would be otherwise. If you have abiding love for each other you will create a family atmosphere in which your children will always be comfortable and respectful to you and to others. They will develop a strength of character and a morality mirroring your own. They will also learn to adopt a calm, peaceful approach to life and eschew bickering and pettiness. They will not be threatened by peer pressure.

Those parents who alienate a spouse in favor of the children will never really be winners. Your partner is a life partner and your children may only inhabit a portion of your life. Truly loving your partner certainly puts the odds in your favor as to the permanence and warmth of your relationship with your children.

Have we defined love? Well, I feel that dictionary definitions don't establish a criterion. Love is unique to the individuals and their personalities, but its basis is wanting to do more for each other than for ones self...without fail, and forever!

NOTE: While I offer my opinions on many subjects, I'm certainly interested in your viewpoints and you can contact me at ww802666@gmail.com. You can advise me whether they can be posted or private. Thank you. Will.