Pet Peeves and Other Annoyances

Pet Peeves And Other Annoyances

This will come as a shock to many of you. There are those of us who don’t like pets.

I bear them no ill-will, mind you; I simply don’t want them in close proximity to me. When a trusting dog approaches me for a friendly pat, I mutter some innocuous phrase like “Hi there, boy!” and do my best to avoid contact. It seems that I often glimpse disappointment in sad brown eyes.

My feelings about the four seasons are similar. Having lived in every possible climate for much too long, I now tolerate only one. After all, who wants to put up with too hot, too cold, and too wet? Seventy to 74 degrees Fahrenheit seems perfectly acceptable to me.

Yet, in the same way that I appreciate snow on calendars and postcards, animals are esthetically pleasing to me. Few would deny they make pretty pictures — it’s just that I  don’t want to touch them. There are two beautiful golden retrievers with whom I exchange happy greetings on my early morning walk. They have an acre of grass and trees to romp in. They are well cared for — and they are behind a chain-link fence.

Dogs and cats are inquisitive creatures. Always snooping around, sniffing at every scent, sticking their noses into each pile or mound. Catching rodents is great sport too — and at home they seem to delight in licking faces and jumping up on sofas and beds

Of course, pet owners do entertain guests in their homes. An acquaintance of mine whom I had occasion to visit, owns a pure white cat of high-born Oriental ancestry. This is truly a regal and mystical feline of unsurpassed beauty. I came very close to stroking it but was brought up short when I noticed my host tenderly picking fleas from its coat as it sat in his lap. I was further disenchanted  when I saw the litter tray on the kitchen floor — and positively repulsed when the cat later jumped up on the kitchen counter and languorously rubbed itself against the utensils.

Dog owners, especially, take umbrage if there is cause for complaint against their pet.  My wife and I were enjoying a peaceful moment sitting on the grass in a park overlooking the sea. Her handbag lay next to her with one hand lightly resting on it when, to her horror, a very intent, unleashed dog raised its leg and urinated on the hand and the bag. The owner was delighted with the animals behavior, presumably because of its selectivity. With all of those trees about, it takes a truly sensitive dog to appreciate the uniqueness of the situation. The owner’s insincere apology quickly changed to outright hostility when we advised him what to do with his dog — and himself.

Mind you, it speaks well of the park maintenance program that we had even found an unsoiled patch of turf on which to enjoy the tranquility of the moment.

Two of our grandchildren live in an urban area and they love to visit us in our discreet, rural community. Most of our neighbors own dogs which are neither leashed nor confined, but to be scrupulously fair, they are almost all “good” dogs.

However, in the eyes of 3 and 4 year olds walking with Grandpa, they can be intimidating. One very ugly and fearsome-looking dog of undetermined origin is a slobbering elephant of an animal which bounds across the considerable property, attaining enough speed while charging straight at Grandpa and the two toddlers, to put the fear of God into even a lion tamer — let alone this defenseless trio. This dog is a veritable pussycat;  it only wants to demonstrate how wetly affectionate it is. The children have no way of knowing the true nature of the animal. The tears flow, they cling to Grandpa for safety,  and the terror lingers in their minds when they go to bed at night — and regretfully, they sometimes refuse to go walking.

England is renowned for its love of dogs. On a recent visit, my wife and I entered a classy manor hotel in Devon and found the guest lounge tastefully appointed with polished cherrywood, elegant Axminster carpets, chintz sofas, gorgeous flower arrangements — and occupied by properly attired ladies and gentlemen sipping preprandial sherry, and several dogs comfortably ensconced on the sofas.

We looked for another hotel.

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