Received from a friend. Origin unknown, but good for a chuckle or two.
Sign over a
Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your
cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an
Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking
for,
you've come to the right place."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband
fixed."
On another Plumber's
truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your
plumber."
At a Tire Shop in
Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next
blowout."
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on
fire and take
appropriate
action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet
-miss a car payment."
Outside an
Exhaust
Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you
coming."
In a Veterinarian's
waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"
At the Electric Company "We would be delighted if you send in your
payment. However, if you don't, you will be
delighted."
In a Restaurant
window: "Don't stand there and be hungry;
come
on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral
Home: "Drive carefully. We'll
wait."
And the best one for
last............ Sign on the back of another Septic Tank
Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political
Promises"
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