Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Your Humor for Today


Received from a friend. Origin unknown, but good for a chuckle or two.

 Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."  

 In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."  

On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."


On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

 
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next blowout."

 
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

 
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."
 
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

 
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."

 
Outside an Exhaust Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

 
At the Electric Company "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be delighted." 

 
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up."

 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."  


And the best one for last............ Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"




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